Suppose (for no suspicious reason) that you are curious as to how to kill someone as efficiently and quickly as possible. My guess would be it depends on the method you use to do the killing, and your level of expertise. Movies make murder look effortlessly easy, but much of the research I’ve done suggests it takes a little more effort than pulling a trigger or stabbing someone once or twice. That’s probably why people who are stabbed to death in real life tend to be at the receiving end of the knife several times (that and irate overkill). An interesting piece of news is that a fight is never won by defensive action but always by attack. The shock of an ambush would make total sense, catching your victim unaware. Adding a scream to the attack is even better since you frighten the crap out of your enemy and you allow for a full intake of oxygen into your lungs, readying your body to KILL.You really should have a good reason for that or you are a jerk. Getting pissed because the woman behind you stole your laundry machine at the laundromat is not just cause to scream, attack, and kill. Still, you may have your own indecipherable reasons and who am I to judge? Categorized for your perusal (for no suspicious reason), are the following suggested means of successful murder with or without malice aforethought.
The Human Body – cut off oxygen, cut off life – the essential philosophy behind killing a person. A windpipe can be slashed and a lot of blood loss follows, but it is the loss of oxygen from the blood that ultimate causes death. Cool.
3 goals in successfully killing a person: 1-Stop the breathing, 2-Start the bleeding, 3-Promote shock
Breathing and Breaking
Yes it really is possible to pull a Bruce Lee, or act like a street fighter and murder someone. To wit:
Windpipe – A good sharp punch or chop in the windpipe (aim for the adams apple) can cause asphyxiation. Choking is different. It causes suffocation but it is not the same as asphyxiation, since a foreign object or the person’s own blood or vomit, must be involved in the process. Ick.
Strangulation – stems the flow of blood at the carotid arteries. Death by anoxia.
Smothering – another oxygen deprivation method, but unless your victim is very drunk and not too large, you need a lot of strength to complete this one.
Punching/Chopping– to different areas of the head and face should do nicely. Hitting the temple, an uppercut to the jaw, a hard punch to the back of the neck, a hard punch to the chest where the heart is locate, head to wall punch, a hook punch to the jaw (snapping the victim’s neck) are all handy means of murder. Of course you, (for argument’s sake and for no suspicious reason), the murderer have to be very strong and fast in order to be successful.
Head wrench – grabbing a person by the mouth and back of the head, then wrenching the head around sharply could snap the neck….it’s that cool move you see in the movies.
Eyes – this one makes sense but I doubt your victim is going to remain too still for this one. Sticking your fingers in there and grabbing on for dear life (or death) is known to be effective. Well, in theory, at least.
Bare Feet (why don’t people say killed with his bare feet but they always say killed with his bare hands?) Depending on where you kick a man (or woman) when he’s down (or up) you can kill with your feet too. Savage.
The abdomen – a good kick here may severely damage a vital organ. ouch.
A kick in the back of the neck may crush the motor nerves of the brain which stimulate breathing.
A kick in the temple, jaw, and neck can either snap the neck or shatter the windpipe.
Ribcage– kick that hard enough and the ribs will shatter, causing grave (pun) internal bleeding.
Kicking someone enough times in the skull is bound to kill her eventually. Hopefully your victim will be long dead before you’re finished. Ouch.
This is an easy one depending on how you set it up. Shock is a dramatic drop in blood pressure. Shock can be caused by electricity, fire, spinal damage, and gross damage to the vital organs. Fire and electricity are the easiest ways to shock someone if you don’t want to come into contact with them.
Electricity – push your victim into a pool and toss in a radio. THe same is true of a bathtub – or it can be an electric heater, hair dryer, or fan depending on the temperature in the bathroom. It is mistakenly thought that these appliances are now made to short out as soon as they hit water and therefore won’t kill anyone. Not so. It depends on the age of the appliance and the brand. In other words, the cheaper and older the device, probably the better odds at killing someone.
Fire – Most fatalities occur away from the start of the fire, and the victim is often not trying to escape. After flashover, when the fire burns ferociously without enough oxygen, it produces a potentially lethal mixture of heat, smoke, irritants and toxic gases. So we have shock and suffocation. Not to mention being burnt to a crisp. Ouch. Starting a fire when your victim is asleep is a very effective means of murder. Of course you will get caught. This blog isn’t about how not to get caught killing someone. It’s about how to kill someone. You need Part 2, How to Commit the Perfect Murder, to find out how to not get caught. You bastard.
This one isn’t as easy as it seems. Death from stabbing is caused by shock, severe blood loss, infection, or loss of function of an essential organ such as the heart or lungs.It isn’t easy to kill someone with a single knife stab or slash. Knowing precisely where you need to stab, and how many times, insures a better chance of offing someone. Stabbing means to attack someone with a sharp or pointed object at close range. Most of us think of a knife but it doesn’t have to be. Stabbing differs from slashing or cutting in that the motion of the object used in a stabbing generally moves perpendicular to and directly into the victim’s body, rather than being drawn across it. Slashing seems malicious to me. It must hurt like a bi-atch. The human skin has a somewhat elastic property as a self-defense. When you’re stabbed by a thin object, your skin closes around the object and closes again when the object is removed, which can trap blood inside your body. Sometimes when a person has been stabbed, the wound is cleaned and dressed but not sutured; blood and pus (gross) can build up in a wound and become a breeding ground for bacteria. Some people who are shot or stabbed don’t even know it happened (duh). The trauma of the situation often has a “numbing effect.” They might feel something but no sharp pain, rather something milder and more subtle. They might feel nothing at all.
Julia Popova. This young Russian woman was the victim of a purse snatcher who plunged a 6-inch knife into her upper back. She was unaware until she got home and her parents saw the knife protruding from the base of her neck. The fact that she didn’t know she’d been viciously stabbed numbed her enough so she didn’t feel the blade enter her back. Had the blade struck a major blood vessel, she would have bled profusely. Had it struck her spinal column, she would have dropped into a paralyzed heap. Had it struck her lung, she would’ve become extremely short of breath and would’ve sprayed blood with every exhalation. Check out that nasty picture at the start of the blog. It’s her. See? I told you it isn’t as easy to kill someone by stabbing as it seems.
With a gun, it doesn’t matter how big, or physically able you are, anyone from a
small child to an elderly person can pull a trigger. Women rarely commit murder,but when they do, a gun is most often the weapon they chose because it
eliminates the physical differences between the sexes, allowing a hundred pound
woman to kill a three hundred pound man, when any other weapon must be used at close range and can easily be taken from her. The most important part of surviving a gunshot wound is getting the victim to proper medical attention as soon as possible. Chances of survival improve the faster you get the victim in front of a doctor.Bullets rarely transect or sever major arteries and blood vessels. Some reasons gunshots don’t always kills people:
- Surrounding tissue acts as a barrier to blood loss
- Blood pressure falls, bleeding slows
In fact in mind 70% of gunshot victims survive. While victims who suffer gunshot wounds to the head or heart may succumb quickly, most will recover from wounds to other parts of the body. The most sure-fire (pun) way to ensure the victim’s death is to hit the internal organs or the brain, and even then there are no guarantees. It doesn’t hurt if you head to a practice range first and become a crack shot. It is harder to hit a person than you’d think.
Andy Warhol – Valerie Solenas
Case in point: Solenas, author of the controversial diatribe The Scum Manifesto (Society for Cutting Up Men), was a paranoid schizophrenic who suffered a life of chronic, brutal physical and sexual abuse at both her father and her grandfather’s hands. She left home at 15 and was homeless for several years on an intermittent basis. Fulled with rage against men by the time she met Warhol, Solenas managed to ingratiate herself among his crowd. Solenas slipped Warhol a script she wrote and asked him to produce it as a film. The script was a hard-core porn, filled with explicit, lewd acts that didn’t interest Warhol. He refused it and she demanded to have her script returned. Warhol, known for his ridiculously poor memory, agreed but he was unable to find it. Convinced that Warhol would use and profit it from her without her knowledge, Solenas approached Warhol at his factory one evening and shot him 3 times in the chest and abdomen from only a few feet away. Incredibly, Warhol survived although he was physically and emotionally scarred for life. From there on in, Warhol had to wear a special girdle to protect his internal organs and he himself became almost paranoid (irony) about most people around him.
Strangling is a tricky means of killing someone. It is compression of the neck that leads to unconsciousness or death by causing an increasingly hypoxic state, (a lack of oxygen), in the brain. Fatal strangling occurs in cases of violence and accidents. Strangling can be divided into three general types:
- Hanging—Suspension from a cord wound around the neck.
- Ligature strangulation—Strangulation without suspension using some form of cord-like object called a garrote (the method of strangulation that killed Jonbenet Ramsey). Ligature strangulation (also known as “garroting”) refers to strangling with some form of cord such as rope, wire, or shoe laces, circumferencing the neck. Even though the mechanism of strangulation is similar, it is different from hanging by the strangling force being something other than the person’s own bodyweight. Incomplete occlusion of the carotid arteries is expected and, in cases of homicide, the victim may struggle for a period of time,with unconsciousness typically occurring in 10 to 15 seconds.[
Manual strangulation—Strangulation using the fingers or other extremity and it requires a great deal of pressure. Manual strangulation (also known as “throttling“) refers to strangling with the hands, fingers, or other extremities (sometimes also with blunt objects such as batons). In violence, this type of strangling is mostly done by men against women rather than against another man, because it requires disparity in physical strength between the assailant and the victim. Depending on how the strangling is performed, it may compress the airway, interfere with the flow of blood in the neck, or work as a combination of the two. With manual strangulation it can take up to 2 minutes to render the victim unconscious, depending on the size and strength of the victim and the killer. Otherwise, it may take only several seconds to lose consciousness. If you stop strangling at this point, it is possible your victim will survive. The killer needs to continue pressure on the neck for another 2 – 3 minutes minimum and even then there isn’t a guarantee that the victim will die.
I had a friend who was involved in the drug scene and often moved around the streets encountering rather colourful individuals. One night, a man attempted to strangle her to death in an alley. She can remember going unconscious and then some time later she woke up. He succeeded in rendering her unconscious but not in killing her. Here’s an interesting tidbit. Not only was she lucky to have survived the strangluation attempt, she should have gone to a medic, as anytime in the following 24 hours, her esophagus could have closed up after the fact, cutting off oxygen supply. She was touched by an angel.
Gary Ridgway – Green River Killer
It took Gary Ridgway nearly an hour to recount Carol Christensen’s story to police. He said he had sex with her on two prior occasions before killing her on their third “date.” Christensen was a 21-year-old prostitute. But on the third occasion she was in a hurry and mentioned it several times, which caused him to fly into a rage and kill her, Ridgway said. “Every time she said hurry, I got madder and madder,” Ridgway said, crying as he told the story to detectives. After strangling her with a rope or cord of some type, he cuddled up to her and cried over killing her, later falling asleep. When he awoke she was cold, and he began the process of taking her out of his house, putting her in his truck and finding a place to leave her body, he said. Ridgway told police he put a bag on Christensen’s head so no one could see her face. He also placed two trout on her upper torso, an empty wine bottle across her stomach, and sausage on her hands. That was how police found her.
A club is one of the simplest weapons around. It can come in a variety of types and sizes: baseball bat; baton; plank of wood; pickaxe handle, steel pipe, flashlight, sallyrod, crowbar, hammer, bludgeon,tire iron, power bar, truncheon, brick… you get the idea. Don’t mistakenly place Ms Lizzie Borden in this category; she didn’t use the handle of the axe, she used the head. That’s known as hacking someone to death. Ouch. Most clubs are small enough to be swung in one hand although two-handed variants are known. The wounds inflicted by a club are generally known as bludgeoning or blunt-force trauma injuries. Now, that’s gotta hurt. If you plan someone’s murder through bludgeoning, you are one cold (but somehow admirable) s.o.b. If you happen to have a baseball bat lying around and someone breaks into your house, well that was their fault. They shouldn’t have been trespassing (even though it was the drunk next door neighbour who thought he was breaking into his own home….let that be a lesson). It can take one swing of a club to the head or it can take many (some of which will hit the face, too…ouch) to bludgeon someone to death. Sometimes unconsciousness is mercifully swift; sometimes it is not. Again, that all depends on the strength of the killer and how determined the victim is to survive (helluva headache later). Bludgeoning can result in an ABI (acquired brain injury) if not death.
The Parker-Hulme murder case was a murder and subsequent court case that occurred in Christchurch, New Zealand in 1954, in which Honora Rieper was killed by her teenage daughter, Pauline Parker, and her best friend, Juliet Hulme. On 22 June 1954, the body of Honora Rieper was discovered in Victoria Park, in Christchurch. That morning Honora had gone for a walk through Victoria Park with Pauline and her best friend, Juliet. In a wooded area of the park near a small wooden bridge, Hulme and Parker bludgeoned Rieper to death with half a brick enclosed in an old stocking.After committing the murder the two girls fled, covered in blood, back to the tea kiosk where the three of them had eaten only minutes before. They were met by Agnes and Kenneth Ritchie, owners of the tea shop, whom they told that Honora had fallen and hit her head. The body of Honora Rieper was found by Kenneth Ritchie. Major lacerations were found about Honora’s head, neck, and face, with minor injuries to her fingers. Police soon discovered the murder weapon in the nearby woods. The girls’ story of Rieper’s accidental death quickly fell apart.
As the girls’ friendship developed, they formed an elaborate fantasy life together. They would often sneak out and spend the night acting out stories involving the fictional characters they had created. Their parents found this disturbing and worried that their relationship might be sexual. Homosexuality at the time was considered a serious mental illness, so both sets of parents attempted to prevent the girls from seeing each other. In 1954, Hulme’s parents separated; her father resigned from his position as rector of Canterbury College and planned to relocate to England. It was then decided that Hulme would be sent to live with relatives in South Africa—ostensibly for her health, but also so that the girls would be separated. Parker told her mother that she wished to accompany Hulme, but Parker’s mother made it clear to her that it would not be allowed. The girls then formed a plan to murder Parker’s mother and leave the country for the United States, where they believed they would publish their writing and work in film. The trial was a sensational affair, with speculation about their possible lesbianism and insanity. The girls were convicted on 28 August 1954, and each of them spent five years in prison as they were too young to be considered for the death penalty. Some sources say they were released with the condition that they never contact each other again but there was no evidence to support this condition.
Hacking – Axe Murder
Lizzie Borden took an axe gave her (step)mother 40 whacks
When she saw what she had done she gave her (incestuous) father 41
Actually, the number of whacks was 15 and 11, respectably (no kidding). I suppose it’s hard to make 15 and 11 rhyme, so there you have 40 and 41. The excessive number of whacks emphasizes how many swings of the axe it takes to end a life. Of course in Lizzie’s case, this was an example of enraged overkill and no wonder. Lizzie had darned good reason. Her stepmother was determined to cheat her out of her inheritance, leaving her bereft of money. Her father was incestuous and refused to let her marry so as to keep her for himself. Gross. I believe it was no accident that her sister Emma happened to be out-of-town the weekend Lizzie murdered their folks. Emma wasn’t guilty exactly, but she was a possible accomplice in that Lizzie possibly forewarned her sister of her dark intentions and Emma made sure she was nowhere near the house at the time. Meh. That’s just an opinion.
If you whack a person at the right place, the temple for instance,you can take them out with one hit but it’s most likely that you will be hacking away for a couple of minutes. The convenient thing about an axe murder is that you already have the tool you need to dismember the body before disposing of it. Two birds with one stone. Practical.
This one’s a no-brainer. Get hold of your basic cyanide, arsenic, strychnine (that’s truly nasty stuff – you have to be cruel to use that one), or other such lethal toxin, pour it into your victim’s drink and watch as the fun begins. You can actually procure these poisons online from other countries (not for any suspicious reason); it is still used in rat and bird poison and in pesticides. How you use the stuff is up to you. There isn’t any guaranteed way that you won’t get caught. You will kill your victim if you are persistent enough but avoiding detection is another matter altogether. Perhaps befriend a homeless person just for the experimental helluvit (now that is truly sick). If you are a nurse such as Genene Jones, you have it made. You can easily overdose your victims on any medicine they are already taking and you just might be able to get under the radar for a while. There are easier poisons to access. They are all around you in your home. Consider bleach, sleeping pills, motor oil, eye drops (seriously), and anything else that comes to mind. If your partner is diabetic, nose your way into the insulin. Ooh, nasty. You may have to experiment with these a bit but that’s half the fun, right?
Most of the time it is women who choose poison to kill off people who irritate them to some degree. Men tend to be more violent, choosing knives, guns and strangulation. This is because women are naturally less violent than men and the passive, nurturing nature of poisoning someone (eg. putting poison in a drink and tucking the person into bed when the symptoms begin).
Nasty. That’s got to be one of the worst. Gasping for air and struggling for your life, that’s scary. Drowning is also difficult. You need strength and even then your victim’s adrenalin will be flowing so don’t be surprised when he starts fighting back to save his life. Given this scenario, it can take several minutes to actually keep the victim underwater and drown him. A man attacking a woman, different story. About 2 minutes underwater oughta do it. Of course a woman attacking a man is just not going to happen except in very odd circumstances, such as drowning an elderly or disabled person (mean)! If the water is very cold, your victim may die of hypothermia, rather than drowning. Either way, drowning is ever so cruel. That would be my last resort. I’m not as mean as you.